I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
