good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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