two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
