THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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