"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
