I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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