well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
