you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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