is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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