Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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