I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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