Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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