I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
