Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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