he puts the penis in happiness.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
