Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
