oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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