So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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