I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize