"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
