Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
