Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
