they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
