Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
