You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize