woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We're too hungover to prance.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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