Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The uberlube is also flammable
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
