How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
