There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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