i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
