We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my shit smells like andre
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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