terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
