so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
