It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
