I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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