It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
