Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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