I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
