you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
