Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
