he wants to bone in the snuggie
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
