This is not my ceiling
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
