went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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