Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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