3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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