k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
