Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
