just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
