He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
