You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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