I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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