Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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