The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
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