Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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