Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Farmville is her only friend.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
