I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
