Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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