I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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