I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
