i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
