Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
