i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
