...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
