do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
